An Ed Hardy T-shirt Insults Other Clothing Articles

(to a sweater) “HEY, YOU SLIGHTLY COLD? Yeah I know there’s a bit of a nip in the air but what? Can’t handle a faint CHILL? Hahaha BITCH!”

(to a fedora) “HEY! Yeah YOU! Ya friggin’ fedora! You think you’re smooth? You’re not smooth! You wana know what IS smooth?? A couple pewter rings with fuckin’ skulls on them!! That shit is so suave…”

(to a pair of Converse) “HEY OVER HERE! Yeah you two nerds… Hey guess what year it is? Not nineteen fuckin’ twenty-two! You might think you’re all trendy BUT YOU NOT! You’re just a couple fuckin’ Air Jordan trynabe, no ankle-support-giving, zero lay-up-makin’ BITCH!”

(to a flannel shirt) “You a lumberjack-ASS-lookin’ BITCH.”

(to a miniskirt) “AY HONEY! Baby! LOOK OVER HERE! Oh alright I get it… I’m not pretty enough for you… WHO NEEDS YOU? Huh? HUH?”

(to a pair of TOMS) “Oh I see… YOU TRYIN TO SAVE AFRICA! You know what you guys look like? A couple of environmentally-conscious, humanitarian BITCHES!”

(to a deep V-neck shirt) “Oh shit, you cool. What’s goin’ on?”

(to a Lacoste polo) “HEY! You think you’re better than me? WHAT? I can’t hear you with all that money in your throat! Hahahaha you a bitch because you’re financial resources exceed mine GREATLY!”

(to a pair of CROCS) “MOTHERFUCKER! I don’t know why everyone’s always shittin’ on you guys. I think you pretty cool and I can only imagine you’d be comfy as hell.”

(to a visible thong) “OHnMYGGOd-

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