True Life: I Tried to Sell My Anger On Craigslist

My Anger – $30 (free delivery)

Hi. My name is Jameson. Jameson Doris if it’d make you more comfortable knowing my last name as well. Yeah, basically I’m just trying to sell my anger. I’m sure you’re thinking, “what the heck do I need this guy’s anger for??” I can assure you I’m selling it cheap. Also, it’s served me well in many disputes and has been a great tool in obtaining things that I want. Believe me, I’d be giving this anger of mine away for free if I didn’t know better. But I do so I’m selling my anger for the incredibly reasonable price of 30 dollars. Please no bargain hunters, I’m not going to be lowering my price because I’m very confident that I’ve listed it much lower than it’s actually worth. The truth is I’m just sick of being angry all the time. I’d really love to give this whole “happiness” thing a shot but I can’t even pursue it like everyone else when I’m constantly in this state of mind. Others, including my own family, have instructed me to try a more medicinal approach but I’m not an idiot. I know medicine doesn’t work. No amount of pills is going to make me happy. This is why I’ve decided to post this ad in the very reasonable hopes that a kind young soul (such as yourself) will purchase my anger so that you too can reap the numerous benefits I’ve enjoyed from behaving this way. So please buy my anger? Please? You little piece of fucking shit.

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