Excerpts From the Travel Journals of a Shut-In

July 5th
Today I gazed out my window as I awoke. The sky was cloudless and the sun shone through the branches. The rays hit my face in just the way I’d assume they would if I were to wake up in Rome. But I’m not going to pay to fly all the way to Italy for something I can get in my own neighborhood. That’s dumb.
July 9th
I love this country. There are so many beautiful things to see and do! I’m watching this absolutely lovely program on the Travel Channel right now about the Mardi Gras. That city New Orleans looks like a real riot! I love watching these shows. It makes me realize how many amazing things are left to be seen in this glorious country of ours! I can’t waste my time trying to see other countries! I’m so glad I can see all these amazing places in America from my living room and not have to go to them. Very convenient. I like television.
July 11th
As I was eating breakfast today, an Asian man walked right by front yard. He looked much like a man I would see if I were to be walking around the suburbs of Japan or China. But I’m not gonna do that. Why would I do that? I can see this chump right here while I’m eating my Crispix. Why on earth would I travel all the way to Taiwan to see the same damn thing?
July 18th
Katie just left. She’s my daughter. She just got home yesterday from her senior trip to Paris and she told me all about it. Its basically like I’ve been to Paris.
July 20th
Gas prices are out of control. Thank the lord I don’t have a car anymore. I love using my bike to get around. I keep it somewhere in my garage, I think. (if I still have it.)
July 21st
Esther wanted to go to the botanical gardens today. She said it would be “nice” to get out of the house for a bit. LOL! I know what flowers look like. We used to have them in our garden before I stopped tending them for fourteen years.
July 29th
People call me a hermit quite often, which is unfair. Well it is fair but it’s hurtful and I resent the fact that it’s fair. But I’m the one who at the end of the day gets to lay out on my very own Sleep Number bed, so who really gets the last laugh?
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